Yesterday, after driving around all morning signing my 3 year old up for fall Pre-K, I pulled into the driveway and glanced in the rearview mirror at 3 of my 4 children (I didn't forget one somewhere- L is in the Special Needs Pre-K class) and they were all ASLEEP! What? How could they? Falling asleep! In the car! Is soooooo cruel! I can't move them inside because they will wake up. I can't leave them in the car because eventually someone will wake up and who knows what they will get up to... (Plus, it's a BIG NO NO- but never mind that) So, what did I do? I quietly opened up the van door and closed it gently, then ran inside and up the stairs to my room- I grabbed the down comforter and a book out of my room and ran back downstairs and grabbed a Dr. Pepper and dragged a camping chair out of the garage.
This was going to be GLORIOUS! They'd be asleep- in the car- and I'd be set up in my chair, enjoying my Dr. Pepper, reading a nice book and snuggled under the comforter. Okay, yes, I was in my driveway, but quiet time only comes but once in a blue moon and I could not turn it down. And so, all set up, and ready for my quiet time to begin, I opened my Dr. Pepper and my book and leaned back into my chair.
A sigh of contentment escaped my lips and I knew this was going to be wonderful.
But, then, my ears perked up at the sound of a whimper. I held my breath and hoped it was just the wind, but there it was again. A whimper. I looked up at the car and I can see C waving her hands- This was the moment a few drips of snow fall, just before the crushing avalanche. C threw her head back and let out a wail that rivals most police sirens, waking up J and M and thereby, ending the piece of quiet I had managed to make the best of in my driveway.
Yep, it was over. Sigh.
You see, this is how I look at the upside of everything. That was a moment when I could have given in and gotten down about how unfair it was that on the one day my kids actually napped at the same time they did it in the car- but it didn't even cross my mind to mope- it just meant I had to change my picture of IDEAL and move on. It's a metaphor for what our family life has been like since we had kids and things started to unravel. We hoped our quiet time would be snuggled in a bed with a good book and the heater running, but, instead, it's us sitting in the driveway balancing precariously on a camping chair with a hole in it, ignoring the wind and threatening rain, to just carve out a second of quiet. The chaos of that quiet time is so much like the chaos of my life. And yet, it counts as a moment. I'll take the joy of a few fleeting moments and live a lifetime off of it because I can work with anything and I will make the best of it.
That is life with 4 kids. That is life with an autism diagnosis. That is life with an asperger's, ADHD and ODD diagnosis. That is life.
Make the best of what you got! You only get it once!
-LL
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Things I Do That I Probably Shouldn't
Okay- Happy New Year! Now, did you make a resolution? Are you going to a be a better person in 2012? Are you going to make your life AMAZING this year? Yes! You are! Good for you!
I made a resolution, too. It's for my husband. I am embarking on a journey for him to be wonderfully, amazingly happy in 2012. Because, we had enough of enormously, exhaustively frustrated in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011.
It's gonna be pretty fantastic.
So, here is a list of things that I should change that I will not, because these are "lesser" goals and I don't want them to get in the way.
1. Drink 5-6 Dr. Peppers per day
I try to limit it to one or two but on a bad day I can take out a 6 pack in just a few hours.
2. Eat chips and French Onion dip for lunch (and nothing else)
Yes, I know, this is ABSOLUTELY terrible. But oh so yummy and I don't have a plate to wash when I'm done.
3. Read trashy novels instead of one of the many reference books on ADHD, Asperger's, Autism, ODD, etc. that I own.
Who can resist some Jill Mansell or Meg Cabot? Seriously, I just like to read a low thought requirement book when I'm folding clothes. I get points for multi-tasking.
4. Skip bath night and just wash the kids off with a baby wipe.
This is downright LAZY- if you are the judgy type ask yourself one question- how much fecal smearing did you deal with today? Yeah- I thought so....
5. Avoid my friends
Okay, this is unhealthy and I REALLY want to get out and be around them, BUT the only time I can is after 7 pm and that is teetering so DANGEROUSLY close to bedtime (mine) that I can just as easily dream about having a night out. Right?
6. Give in to the whining
I know! You have been reading this blog and are just amazed at my unbelievable parenting skills and then you read this! It's like finding out there is no chocolate in Oreos (there isn't- FYI). Sorry, sometimes I just want a little quiet and SOMETIMES I just want my kids to be happy. I know it's terrible to set this example, but the fight gets old and I really want to just see their smiles.
7. Give advice to parents with typical kids
I really should stop- I don't have a typical kid- what could I know? And you know what else- most of my practices for dealing with unwanted behavior come from autism books and (SHOCK) dog training practices.
8. Be sarcastic
This one is NEVER going away.
I would be a slobbery, crying mess if I couldn't be sarcastic about my situation. And I wouldn't blog either.
9. Wear my pajamas all day.
Some days I take a bath/shower and change into a fresh pair of pajamas. No sense in wasting a day at home wearing something you have to suck in to button.
10. Chew my nails.
This one might actually disappear soon as I have to keep my nails short for rock climbing (oh yeah- I can climb rocks- you prepare for the zombie apocalypse by buying zombie slayer Rugers and I'll prepare for the day my kids turn on me and need to make a quick vertical escape- they're short- up seems like the best option).
So there you have it. Some of my flaws. And, I promise 8 of them will still be here this time next year. :)
A Christmas Conversation:
Me: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house... (etc.)
M: (about the 3rd verse in) Did you know that 5+4 is 9?
Me: Your Asperger's is showing.
M: Does that mean burgers are coming out of my butt?
Happy New Year! Be good to yourself!
-LL
I made a resolution, too. It's for my husband. I am embarking on a journey for him to be wonderfully, amazingly happy in 2012. Because, we had enough of enormously, exhaustively frustrated in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011.
It's gonna be pretty fantastic.
So, here is a list of things that I should change that I will not, because these are "lesser" goals and I don't want them to get in the way.
1. Drink 5-6 Dr. Peppers per day
I try to limit it to one or two but on a bad day I can take out a 6 pack in just a few hours.
2. Eat chips and French Onion dip for lunch (and nothing else)
Yes, I know, this is ABSOLUTELY terrible. But oh so yummy and I don't have a plate to wash when I'm done.
3. Read trashy novels instead of one of the many reference books on ADHD, Asperger's, Autism, ODD, etc. that I own.
Who can resist some Jill Mansell or Meg Cabot? Seriously, I just like to read a low thought requirement book when I'm folding clothes. I get points for multi-tasking.
4. Skip bath night and just wash the kids off with a baby wipe.
This is downright LAZY- if you are the judgy type ask yourself one question- how much fecal smearing did you deal with today? Yeah- I thought so....
5. Avoid my friends
Okay, this is unhealthy and I REALLY want to get out and be around them, BUT the only time I can is after 7 pm and that is teetering so DANGEROUSLY close to bedtime (mine) that I can just as easily dream about having a night out. Right?
6. Give in to the whining
I know! You have been reading this blog and are just amazed at my unbelievable parenting skills and then you read this! It's like finding out there is no chocolate in Oreos (there isn't- FYI). Sorry, sometimes I just want a little quiet and SOMETIMES I just want my kids to be happy. I know it's terrible to set this example, but the fight gets old and I really want to just see their smiles.
7. Give advice to parents with typical kids
I really should stop- I don't have a typical kid- what could I know? And you know what else- most of my practices for dealing with unwanted behavior come from autism books and (SHOCK) dog training practices.
8. Be sarcastic
This one is NEVER going away.
I would be a slobbery, crying mess if I couldn't be sarcastic about my situation. And I wouldn't blog either.
9. Wear my pajamas all day.
Some days I take a bath/shower and change into a fresh pair of pajamas. No sense in wasting a day at home wearing something you have to suck in to button.
10. Chew my nails.
This one might actually disappear soon as I have to keep my nails short for rock climbing (oh yeah- I can climb rocks- you prepare for the zombie apocalypse by buying zombie slayer Rugers and I'll prepare for the day my kids turn on me and need to make a quick vertical escape- they're short- up seems like the best option).
So there you have it. Some of my flaws. And, I promise 8 of them will still be here this time next year. :)
A Christmas Conversation:
Me: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house... (etc.)
M: (about the 3rd verse in) Did you know that 5+4 is 9?
Me: Your Asperger's is showing.
M: Does that mean burgers are coming out of my butt?
Happy New Year! Be good to yourself!
-LL
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